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Panalean

"mathewjohn" (2020-01-10)

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My turning point - one of those huge life changing Panalean Review moments - was when I undertook an exercise in the book that identified that I suffered from chronic depression and had done all my adult life. What a revelation! They say the first step is acceptance before you can make any personal changes. How right this is. In denial of my mental state I had no chance of healing. Only when I searched deep inside myself for the truth was I then able to make any significant changes.It was hard to accept the facts about my depression because I hid it from myself, the world, my friends and my family. With a bubbly happy outer, yet false persona, I faced the world. Behind closed doors, withdrawn into myself I ate copious amounts of food to bury my emotions and hide the frightened child within my over-sized body!Boy, was it painful to look at who I really was (and still is painful as I write this). It would have been easy to fall into the trap (yet again) of becoming the victim to my past, to my food addiction and my lack of self-love. I had a lifetimes experience of playing the victim to family members and to food and this time I wanted to change the cycle. Mindfulness offered me a new, healthy and exciting option to a life yo-yoing between overeating and dieting.

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